void

There's a void in my heart, that I can't seem to fill.

I been a parent, had three children and a big house on the hill.

Hundred dollar in my pocket, and it didn't buy a thing.

Well theres' a void in my heart, and a hole in my dreams.

Well I've poured miles of concrete

Strung wire for telephones,

Dug ditches when I was a young boy and I first left my parent"s home.

Sang my songs for millions of people,

Sang good and bad news.

Well there's a void in my heart,

And a fire at my fuse.

Well I did everything just like "they" said,

so I could find happiness.

Went to school, got a college degree,

and at my job I did my best.

As I sit alone tonight I see a billion just like me.

With a void in their hearts,

and runnin' from eternity.

Well there's a void in heart, that I can't seem to fill.

I do charity work when I believe in the cause,

But my soul it bothers me still.

Hey Lord, you made me like I am,

Can you cure this restlessness.

Whether it's a void in my heart,

When they carry me out to rest.

                                   -----John Mellencamp-----

Currently Listening Big Daddy By John Mellencamp see related

Blank

 Wow, I really have absolutely nothing fun, witty, or philosophical to say. It's colder than a well digger's arse outside, louder than a tarmac at O'Hare airport in my house, and I've had a headache since what seems like the 7th grade. If I were to write something it would probably just be something depressing or angry, and amazingly enough I am neither one of those. Right now I just am. I am just going thru the motions of life. Breathe in, breathe out. Left, right, left. Kids wake up, kids go to bed. I kinda feel out of touch with life. Kinda like I am just a spectator on the sidelines. Not interupting, but not contributing. I'm just taking up space. I think this is what they call the "blahs." I can't even bring myself to laugh very much. Maybe I just need a good poop. Who knows? I do know one thing. I don't need to go see some shrink to "fix" me. I think they are a total crock. Cowboys didn't need to go to psychiatrists. They just dealt with their problems themselves. We now live in a society of wimps. Everyone wants to blame their parents, and "hard" childhoods on their problems. Well ya know what. My childhood wasn't all roses either, but I am a full grown man, that makes his own decisions. So, therefore I will take total and full responsibility for the reatrded choices I tend to make. Let's face it, I really can be a shithead. Wow, where did that come from  I'm rambling. I think it's all Audrey's fault. i only get to see her for like five minutes every two months. I really miss that girl. She's probably the only one that still reads my stuff anyway. She likes it when I put stuff in about her. Unless of course I am revealing dirt on her. And boy do I have some dirt on that little lady. Don't worry Auds, I would never tell your secrets.

  Well I feel as though I am wasting the precious time of whoever might be reading this crap. I am now going to stop writing. I'll be back when I have something to say. Have a great time doing whatever it is you spend your time doing. I'm gonna go poop.

COVER ME

  I wrote this song tonight. It just sorta came to me. It was one of those rare occasions when I didn't really have to think too hard, I just put my pen to the paper and it came out. I am usually very self conscious about my songs. For every one that I put on here, there about ten that never even get written down. I just keep them locked away in my head and my heart for fear that people will get too close of a picture of me. That being said, in my own opinion this is the best song I've written. I know that it didn't all come from me. I don't want to say that there was "divine intervention," but I couldn't come up with this by myself. I know it's hard to get a true feel for a song by just reading it, and not being able to hear the music or the melody, but I just wanted to share it with whoever might read this. Hopefully I have been able to write it in such a way that you can relate. Hopefully if you ever get the opportunity to hear it, it will touch you. 

  This song is almost a prayer. These are the feelings that I often get when I have let sin creep into my life and take my eyes and heart off of God. I struggle with so many things in my spiritual life, and I fall victim to Satan's lies of my not being worth anything. These are the words that I cry out when that happens.................................

         You know I've spent my whole life runnin'

         Tryin' hard to hide from you

         An emptiness down deep inside

         A void filled only by you

         For so long I've felt a distance

         Like my soul was worlds apart

         I come to you with my repentence

         And I beg for a brand new start

                   CHORUS:

          Please forgive me

          For what I have become

          Take away all my sins now

          And cover me in your love

          Lord cover me

          In your love

         Who am I to think that I could

         Ever do this on my own

         My foolish pride and selfish greed

         Have nearly cost me my soul

                  BRIDGE:

         And late at night when I lie prayin'

         Tears sreamin' down my face

         Lord I feel you reachin'

         Pullin' me out of this place

                  CHORUS:

          Please forgive me

          For what I have become

          Take away all my sins now

          And cover me in youR love

          Lord cover me

          In your love

          Here I am my life exposed now

          All my sins lay at your feet

          I see the holes in your wrists now

          That were put there by me

           CHORUS 2X TO END

JUST ANOTHER SONG

  Rain, fallin' from a gray sky  

  Pain, the kind that makes God cry

  Shame, shadowing my eyes

  Flames, surrounding my life

  ......surrounding my life.

   Lies, try to destroy me

   Cries, try to employ me

   Fight, for what I can't see

   Try, for what I could be

  .......for what I could be

   Doors, open to my soul

   Torn, lost all my control

   War, causing my blood to flow

    Sore, from the wind that blows

   .....from the wind that blows

   Tears, streaming down my face

   Fears, caused from this place

   Near, to the end of this maze

   Here, I will face this blaze

   ...I will face this blaze

       This is a song. It sounds better with a melody rather than just reading it because it's got a different meter. I just figured someone could give me some honest input about it. No, it's not about anyone!!  It's not about me!! There is no hidden meaning!!! It's not completed yet! (I still have to get the chorus just right before I add it.)

         The song is about a person facing their fears for the first time. The first verse kind of sets the scene. The person is tired of being ashamed, tired of being pushed around by their fear, to the point it causes them physical pain. They know they have to do something about it because it is burning their life up.

        The second verse is my attempt to convey our natural emotions when we do face our fears. Sometimes, usually when we are most vulnerable, the devil inside inside tells us we aren't worthy. We aren't strong enough to stand up and fight. We then have to make a conscious decision to do just that, even though we can't always see what we are fighting.

        In the third verse the person is feeling really vulnerable, really exposed. They now know that they are in a battle. Fighting a fear that has plagued them all their life, they are becoming exhausted. Fighting and enemy that is invisible, yet powerful.

       The fourth verse is my favorite. This is a place that we've all been. I imagine a person that has taken all they are going to take. Someone who has been quiet and let the world, and their fear push them around. They have had enough, and have decided to take control of their emotions, take control of their life. So, with their face red from tears and anger, they stand up, stick out their chest, and conquer their fear for the first time. They face the blaze, and walk thru it unscathed.

        This is just my interpretation. When you read it what did you think it was about? Please, leave me comments and suggestions. Did you have the same interpration?  What is your "invisible enemy"? Alcohol? Tobacco? Pornography? Bad Language? The fear of being hurt? The fear of being judged? The fear of not being noticed? I've dealt with and still deal with a lot of these. Please let me know what you think. THANKS!!!!!